It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
