im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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