Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
