therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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