I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
