That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
