im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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