are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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