she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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