Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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