Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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