I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize