I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
