i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
