I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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