We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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