you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
