We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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