How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
