My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
