If i come over, it means nothing
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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