We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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