By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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