West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
