Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
