The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The adults are the big ones right?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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