If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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