I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
