I'm going to jail i love you
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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