so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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