Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
