He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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