Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
