I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
