He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
high people should be assigned attendants
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
