im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
