there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
