put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
