Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
