Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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