Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
