why didn't you poke me back
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
