i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
