marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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