i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
