I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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