I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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