Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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