You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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