His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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