so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
