I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
