I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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