I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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