Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
