quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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