That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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