this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
smell my finger.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
