Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
