I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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