You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
