what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
